Top Fetish Dating Sites – Free Fetish Sex Dating Apps

Although not everyone can get BDSM, those who do get it understand that it is the perfect middle ground between true love and pure lust. Playing with your partner can create strong emotional connections, intense rushes, and even a blissful or unreal climax.

What are the best fetish websites and BDSM websites ?

List Of Best Adult Dating & Sex Sites

  1. Adult Friend Finder
  2. (BDSM Site)
  3. Out personals (Gay Dating)
  4. Ashley Madison (Sex Affair and Dating)
  5. Passion (Sex Affair Site)
  6. No String Attached
  7. Adult Sex Finder (Adult Dating App)
  8. Get it On
  9. Cams (Adult Chatting Online)
  10. Horny Wife ( Personal Hookup and Dating)
  11. Swap Finder
  12. E Z Dating

We’ll be discussing the top BDSM fetish dating websites, and a general overview of the lifestyle and community.

Get your collar and handcuffs ready!

Top 14 Kinky Dating Websites and Apps for BDSM Singles

First Look

  1. The best BDSM dating site – Adult Friend Finder
  2. Fetlife – Meet kinky women easily
  3. – Great for traveling kinksters
  4. Discreet married dating site – Ashley Madison
  5. Good for kink novices –
  6. Looking for Sub/Dom Sugar Babies Relationships?
  7. Fetish-themed social network –
  8. Polyamorous Community – Fantasy Match
  9. Friendly fetish group – Whiplr
  10. BDSM Dating App – KinkD
  11. Low number of fake profiles – Kinkoo
  12. Extreme fetishes – Fetster
  13. Reddit BDSM personals 100% free – r/BDSMpersonals
  14. Find kinky people via erotica – Literotica

1. Adult Friend Finder – Best Overall BDSM Dating Website

Adult Friend Finder was our top choice because it has the largest fetish community. It also allows you to search for endless sexual niches through its forum.

You can also use the social media function to share your stories and experiences.

Adult Friend Finder has the highest number of active kink websites, which is a big deal when it comes to the BDSM lifestyle. You don’t want a lonely wolf!

You’re sure to have a winner when you add video chat, swingers and threesomes, and LGBTQ+ friendliness.


  • A vibrant kink community
  • Video chat with amateurs or professionals
  • Forums and fetish clubs are always available
  • LGBTQ+ & Swingers


  • Membership fees are high

2. Fetlife – The Best Free Website to Meet Kinky People

Fetlife is the most well-known free dating site for kinksters, and other like-minded individuals.

You can chat for free, upload photos, videos, and use an social network-style layout to search for kinks, add friends, or follow others who share your interests.

Although there have been many FetLife sites, none compare to the one that FetLife has created.

Fetlife recently introduced a mobile FetLife App. It offers notifications, messaging, and a stealth mode to allow public viewing. There is also a Discover option to find nearby events. Nice!


  • You can search by location, fetish or personal ads
  • FetLife app for mobile and PC versions
  • Membership is free


  • There are no videos available for a free membership
  • There is no easy way to privately trade photos

3. – The Best BDSM and Fetish Website for Travelers is one the largest BDSM dating websites. offers photo trading, fetish-dating, swingers, couples, and even member cameras. Join Alt for free to start looking for your kink or other users interested in the same things.

It is very simple to use! has experienced doms and dommes to complete your BDSM adventure. You can also expand your search to other countries and find like-minded kinksters everywhere.


  • SPAM is eliminated by Moderators
  • Camera fun, dating & fetish search
  • You can search for straight, gay, trans or couple.
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  • Preview available only for a limited time

4. Ashley Madison – Most Discreet Fetish Dating Site

Although Ashley Madison isn’t necessarily a fetish site, it is one of the best places to find a marital affair.

You can either search for a particular kink, or search local to find out who’s nearby and their favorite kink.

Although the site does not allow for kink matches it is a great way to talk about your kink with a new friend and start a sexual relationship.


  • Very discrete & private
  • Photos can be blurred or mask
  • Your profile should include fetishes


  • Not BDSM specific, no forums

5. – The Best Website for Newcomers Interested In BDSM has over 900,000. Members and is a sex-positive site with a growing community of fetishists.

You will find more than 340 groups dedicated to unique kinks such as FemDom and bound and gagged.

Let’s just say that there are many sexy guys and girls.

You can create your own group and view over 250,000 member videos. It’s worth a shot!


  • 340 fetish groups
  • 990,000 members
  • You can join as an individual, couple or group
  • Excellent matching process


  • Preview available only in a very limited amount

6. Seeking – Best Online Dating App for Wealthy Kinksters does not cater to kink match sites by design. However, it caters to a niche – the sugar baby spoiler.

You should have enough money to make a splash.

Sugar dynamic often becomes dom/sub, master/slave kinks. This is especially true with Fifty Shades of Grey.


  • 4-1 male to female ratio
  • Searching for sugar daddy or sugar mama?
  • You can find someone who is successful or just eye candy


  • Only the wealthy are eligible to apply

7. – Best Social Networking Site and Kink Dating Site offers more than a website – it is a portal to the larger BDSM community.’s main feature is the ability to find maps of local MUNCHES, which are PG-rated meetups for everyone.

You can search the forums, chat and post your queries anywhere in the world by becoming a member. This site offers both dating and matching.


  • Matching & Fetish Searching
  • Write, read and share
  • Munch events are a great place to be!


  • Site dominated by males with a greater male population

8. Fantasy Match – Best Poly Online Community

The Fantasy App is not to be confused by It’s an app that only caters to polyamorous and open-marriage relationships.

You don’t need to inquire about marital status. However, you can rest assured that everyone believes in ethical dating and safety.


  • Open poly & ethical dating
  • Comfort and consent are the hallmarks of human nature
  • This is a design from a female perspective


  • This is not the place to be if you have male-centric fantasies.

9. Whiplr – The Most Friendly Kink and Fetish Community

Whiplr is a rapidly growing community that has 600,000 photos and over 1.2 Million members. There are also 50,000 chats, video calls, and more than 500,000 photos.

There are many fetish groups, such as newcomers, cuckholders and masters, as well 24/7 slave-master setups. You can also find fetish meetups around the globe on this site.


  • There are 230 fetishes available
  • Local match
  • Fetish events for kinksters in the area


  • Very limited preview

10. KinkD – Best Sex-Positive Dating App

KinkD is an application that connects kinksters with BDSM users. It also offers a social network to all its users.

You can join the community, whether you are single or married, or a swinger, to view stories, chat, post on walls and meet other members.

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There are many options. You can have threesomes or Christian BDSM.


  • Specific niches & worldwide matches
  • Active social network
  • Follow top users to see their videos


  • Only App

11. Kinkoo – Most likely to have fake profiles

Kinkoo was founded in 2017, but it is still going strong with a well-vetted community that weeds spammers out and fakes users and matches them using its own algorithm.


You can also find education and kink feeds on the site, which serve as an icebreaker as well as the introduction or removal of a hard or soft limit.


  • Use the kink feed to start conversations
  • You can meet people while on vacation or in your neighborhood.
  • Not just a website for classifieds, but matching algorithms


  • Only App

12. Fetster – The Most Open-Minded BDSM community

Fetster is a free website for kinksters that acts as both a social network, and a meetup group.

Extreme fetishes can be found all over the place, including CBT cuckolds, master-slaves, rope-play and suspension, deprecating, caging, and spanking.

You don’t need a premium membership to search locally or by city.

You can also create your own groups if there isn’t one that you like. This is a great feature for specific kinks or fetishes.


  • Site completely free
  • Create your own niche fetish group
  • Events and meetups
  • Forums, blogs and social networks


  • It’s not an appealing layout and is a little outdated

13. Reddit BDSM Singles – The Best Free BDSM Singles Site

Reddit is one the most user-friendly sites, since it is free and allows you to post ads.

Fetish Reddit has over 145,000 members and has active subgroup moderation.

Tag your ads and you can post them by age, location and any other kinks. Reddit’s greatest feature? With just one click, your personal ad can be transformed into an active chat.


  • 100% Free
  • It is easy to add a particular add
  • Moderated to remove spam


  • Chat and email addresses are the only features available

14. Literotica – Find sexy people through erotica

Literotica is more of a sexting dating website than a website. They haven’t updated their site since the turn of this century.

It’s a great place to meet fellow kinksters, solely due to the large archive of erotic fiction that is available for free.


  • Check out these sexy stories that kinksters wrote
  • Chat anonymously & live online
  • Chat live with multiple kinksters in chat rooms


  • Chat does not have any additional features

BDSM Etiquette For Newbies – A Quick Guide

BDSM is a general term that refers to a large group of people with very specific sexual preferences, or non-sexual kinks.

You will feel intense emotions similar to love but with a wider view of relationships and commitment.

There are four distinct ways to summarize BDSM:

  • Bondage: Being restrained or restraining another person
  • Discipline Consensually training someone else to follow you
  • Submission – Roleplaying and negotiation.
  • Masochism– Infliction and pleasure

Starting a conversation with a BDSM Kinkster

First, it is not something that anyone wants to play with a psychopath.

It’s all fun!

It’s the best way to make friends with new friends is to act like normal people and use the language of your fellow kinksters.

This means being safe and sane. There is no need to perform in a method acting role at the beginning. Make yourself approachable and friendly, and then discover the commonalities.

Are You a Sub, Dom, or Switch?

Sometimes, “scenes” are sessions of play that require a Dom, Sub or Switch. When a website asks if you are a Dom, Sub or Switch, it means that you would like to be.

  • DOM is the one that gives pleasure/pain
  • SUB– The one who receives pleasure/pain
  • SWITCH– One who can play both roles
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Contrary to what you might think, the Receiver/Sub usually directs “the scene.”

Submissives will continue to use Dom’s services if their dominants do not give up on them. After many sessions, successful negotiation builds trust. Partners can bond closely after this.

BDSM players don’t like abusive or arrogant Doms who don’t understand the psychology and responsibility of directing the scene. Bad Doms are often expelled from the community for not knowing what they’re doing.

Respecting Soft and Hard Limits

Trust is a promise that you can keep, but it can be hard to live by. Do not assume that you are able to improvise. To avoid becoming an enemy of your life, stick to the system of hard/soft boundaries.

Pay attention if someone mentions these phrases in a discussion about fantasies.

  • Hard Limits – Never do this. Going beyond one’s hard limit is breaking someone’s trust
  • Soft Limits : The sub can be negotiable but only according to the person’s level of comfort, not yours.
  • Safe Words If a sub is scared and uses the “safe words” (something you agree on before the scene takes place), then it means to STOP. Do not resume until you have been given permission.
  • Red Yellow, Green: There may be comfort levels instead of safe words. Such as Yellow: Stop, Yellow: Move slowly and be cautious. Green: More, more, more!

Join the BDSM Dating Network

It is best to not make a scene in order to join the BDSM forum. Instead, you can introduce yourself to the community, search for your kinks (like photos or member posts), and ask to chat or follow someone.

It’s not rocket science.

Be patient when you start. You don’t have to get a date within the first night, week or two of joining the community. Relax and get to know others first.

Fetish Dating FAQs

What happens if someone wants money?

It can be difficult because not all financial transactions are legal. Webcam work, such as being a Domme or escorting to companionship, can be tricky, but other transactions are not, such as prostitution.

Even “consensual Financial Domination”, which is sending money to doms to offend you, is legal.

Be suspicious if someone offers to meet you and “anything” in exchange for financial compensation. Don’t follow your gut instincts, and don’t go off with people who have no connection to the community.

What are the biggest mistakes men make when they join Fetish social networking sites?

These are the 7 most common mistakes I see men make:

  1. Do not be too aggressive.
  2. Too boring or annoying to be a Sub
  3. Do not respect the rules of a Dom
  4. Before there is enough trust, make sexual comments
  5. Neglecting the hard/soft boundaries
  6. You can only post photos, but not much else on your profile page.
  7. In other words, “I can offer everything you want!” But I don’t have any experience or niche.

Do I need to sign a contract on a bondage dating website?

It is encouraged to sign a contract before signing, not just a symbolic contract.

A binding bondage agreement shows your partner that you are respectful of the boundaries set by each other and are ready to ensure the safety of your partner at any time.

AFF Best BDSM Paid Member Site –

Fetlife was very close to being ranked #1 but it is just not as exciting and diverse as Adult Friend Finder’s social media interface.

Fetlife can still be used for free and even has a mobile version that is extremely handy.

Our research revealed that AdultFriendFinder was the largest community and had the most options for sexual niches.

No matter what website you choose, be safe and follow the rules to have fun.